Okay first I want to thank everyone for there comments, they have helped alot. Here is an update:
First of all my son I guess is going to go live with his Dad. I really don't know what else to do but let him see for himself what his Dad is. Its been really hard to except this I have had a really hard time dealing with it, but I don't cry about it in front of my son or anyone else for that matter. You know put a smile on your face and pretend everything is fine. That is how I deal with things. Thats why I decided to start blogging. I thought if I talk about it maybe I wont make myself sick holding it all in. I'm 31 years old and I have high blood pressure, I'm not over weight and it don't run in my family. All I can come up with is that I just let the stress of everything get to me. So hopefully this will help. Again thanks everyone for you thoughts and and advise I really appreciate it all.