I don't know what to do. My oldest son is almost 11 and he wants to live with his Dad. His Dad was a very controlling man when we were together. He never told the truth, he made up lies to make himself look better, He drank from morning till night,(but he hid it so no one ever saw him take a drink) He was abusive to me. There were a few times he choked me. most of the time he just tried to scare me into doing what he wanted me to do. We have been apart for 4 years now and he still tells my son he loves me and wants me back. My son belive's every word his dad tells him. My son feels like its my fault his dad and I are not together. His dad is living with another woman now but my son says she's not his girlfriend. he slips sometimes and says things that show me he know it is his girlfriend but he dont want me to know. I told him I don't care if he has a girlfriend and that it dont make me mad. I want him to go on with his life and leave me alone. My son told me last week that if I didn't piss his dad off when he was drunk that he wouldnt have yelled at me all the time. It really hurts that I have to defend myself to my own son. I left my husband because I couldn't take it anymore. Now 4 years later he is still make my life miserable. I don't want my son to go. But I don't want my son to be unhappy. I am worried that if he goes to live with his Dad I will lose him forever.